So this morning I cancelled my participation at an event I really wanted to go to at the end of the week – it was riddled with opportunities for me on many levels. The thing was, as I was looking into getting myself there, arranging the intricacies of travel and going through all the things I’d have to ‘have done’ by then, ladidadidah-you-know-the-chatter, I felt a tingling sense of nausea that I have come to listen to… something wasn’t right, and my gut said so.
And, just like that, I knew I wasn’t going to go.
And just like that, I let go of countless opportunities I will never know I had.
I’ll use this example to elaborate a new thinking that has been building up in me. Taking decisions is not something I’ve always been assertive at, I still find it a workout. Because, for one, it means I am letting a someone, or something, down, either it is myself, or another, or everyone… for another it is because of the opportunities I may be missing.
Monkey mind going haywire
That is the hard part, that of overruling my chorus of inner voices that is loud and chirping at best of times, and starts frantically shouting at me in the run-up to taking a decision – because of course, there are as many great reasons FOR doing something as there are for not.
I also like to see myself as a pacifist, and as such I have a tendency to listen to all the voices that come at me, yes, I believe in finding peaceful alignment, always. I apply this to my inside voices even more than to the outside ones – and there is often somewhat of a cacophony in my mind yelling perspectives and possibilities at me at all times.
They all have a point!
The bottom-line is: I am the boss lady.
I have that great executive responsibility of listening to what is useful and taking the lead in action that best serves us all, the voices, me and my good self.
Pretty much at the same time as I was deliberating with my monkey mind on my big decision, I had a conversation with a friend, who was ‘not feeling’ an event she was supposed to go to, either – I bluntly suggested: ‘don’t go’, to which she replied ‘but I hate missed opportunities‘.
And just then, a penny dropped in me.
It was this little statement that I’ve heard and said a million times before that suddenly, today, had me come to a new conclusion and that I will be trying on for a little while:
‘Life is FULL of missed opportunities.’
In any given moment, we could be in a whole other place. I can be in my home building my business or lying lazily on my couch, just as much as I could be on a safari in Zanzibar, or anywhere in between – whatever I do can be just as real and as important to me as anything else would and could be.
See, a while back on my, for lack of a better word, journey through life I started exploring the attitude of searching for the silver lining in every thing.
Whatever happens to us, whatever the circumstance, we have the power to make it worth while.
In the best of cases we are showered with an abundance of successes and magic, and in other cases, the best we can do is find a learning, grab it, drop the rest and move on.
And in living in that belief, I have come to understand that
every single moment in this our life is an opportunity.
So if that is the truth, whatever we decide to do is a YES to one opportunity and a NO to another.
We can’t be everywhere at the same time, therefore life IS, indeed, filled with missed opportunities.
Regret – concept deleted!
“Maybe, if I’d taken a left instead of a right, I would have met the man of my dreams and we’d be living happily ever after by now?”
Over time, I’ve come to decide that regret is one of the most useless feelings we can have.
Regret not only holds us in the past, feeling miserable, it also impacts our power in the present as we make huge efforts to dodge potential future regrets.
There is no way of knowing what could have been ‘had I only…’; for one, there are innumerable possible ‘had I only…’ options and dwelling in those thoughts serves no apparent purpose.
Trust that synchronicities will happen when they need to happen, the universe and its energies have our back – all we need to do is follow the heart and stay alert.
So here’s my new statement, which I share while I shall keep exploring it myself:
Learn to listen to your heart and gut, follow them, they really do know the way. Make your decision, make it right for yourself in the moment, and own it. You are the boss lady, or man!
2 -Be in the moment as fully as you can.
Live the moment. Make the most of where you are, learn from it, and find and seize the opportunity you are in: embrace it with love, gratitude and creativity, as I like to say, ‘magic lies in the simplicity of appreciation’.
3 – And: let go.
Let go of what coulda-shoulda-woulda been.
Yes, life is full of missed opportunities, get over it.
And keep moving.